As with all hot topics, social media has been a buzz with chatter about female body image and standards of beauty. Interesting enough I noticed a few men chiming in with their opinions and/or words of wisdom for us women. I found the intervention of these men pretty amusing. Especially those who felt it necessary to let us know that women come in all shapes and sizes and that we shouldn’t compare women’s bodies. Laughing I thought, while he’s at it maybe he should tell men to stop equating penis size with manhood or that their sons will be just as manly if they play with dolls instead of trucks or to stop comparing guns, muscles and real firearms. Just maybe if he says it enough men will stop debating what makes a real man or what activities are suitably masculine.
I don’t automatically assume men can’t have opinions on female issues, just that I really don’t give a shit what they have to say. They may have had good intentions but it really came off sounding arrogant. I wondered if they really understand why this is an issue for women. Most men don’t seem to understand women at all. So for your pleasure here are some random thoughts from a woman.
- I don’t take what men say about looks seriously. Men do not see the same things as women, plus they usually wont tell a woman she looks bad. Whether they don’t want to hurt my feelings or they want to get laid men will lie about how I look.
- When I go out and get dressed up it’s not about attracting men or impressing other people. The shoes, the clothes, makeup, and even the sexy underwear are all for me. It’s fun, makes me feel special and helps not to worry about stupid things like being insecure. Once I’ve decided I look good, nobody elses opinion matters.
- I strive for both comfort and looking good. But I will sacrifice comfort on occasion, but it better look damn good.
- On good days I don’t care what anybody else thinks. On bad days, a wrong look can send me spiralling into depression. The goal is to have more good days than bad ones.
- I will never have the body I want. It’s not that I don’t think I look good. I know I’m hot shit. But I always think I can look better. There’s always going to be something that could be smaller, bigger, tighter. It doesn’t consume my life, but the thoughts are always there.
- I criticize other women. I look at pictures and judge them. I’ve said a model in a picture looked too skinny, too fat, or pointed out body parts I didn’t like. I’ve picked apart women walking down the street. So does every other woman I know. There are women, and even men, who have made a career out of this for entertainment purposes. People that are famous for pointing out flaws and shaming people for them. I don’t approve of either.
- I don’t walk around telling people how they should look, unless I’m asked. I might make a suggestion to friends or family out of concern. I give my honest opinion because I would hope for the same in return. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see what I want not what’s really there.
- My opinion of somebody’s appearance is a small part of what I think of them. But I am aware that I judge them by their appearance. I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing.
- People don’t know what’s real anymore. I’ve had total strangers, men and women, ask if my breasts are real. (For the record, they are real and they are spectacular.) I was almost more offended that they had to ask than by how inappropriate it was.
- Everybody’s beautiful is bullshit. If everybody is beautiful than nobody is. Beauty is subjective. Everybody is beautiful to somebody but we all see some ugly.
- Once I hit 12 my body started changing and has never stopped. I constantly have to relearn how to feel comfortable in my own skin. I’ve been thin, I’ve been overweight and everything between. I feel like there are days that my body looks completly different from the day before.
- People and Maxim create lists of the most beautiful people. InTouch and Star point out flaws and shame women for them. Heavy women are the punchline of jokes, while stars share their secrets to staying skinny, and weight loss success is a lifetime achivement. Women’s bodies are remade into unnatural figures in photos and real life, because it’s somebody’s idea of beauty. I can understand why women feel the need to declare what they think is beautiful.
These are all just my own random thoughts. Some maybe relevant, others just popped into my head. I don’t claim all women feel that same way. I may get in trouble because no matter what I say somebody will be offended. But should I keep it to myself because it might upset some people?